Paris 12e
Paris 6e
This is a cheat: it's a photo of us just prior to a trip to Europe, all right — but taken before our Italy trip of 2002! Still, it's us, and I love to look at it.

I'm going to do my best to write up this travel site as if that's all that it is — a description of the final European (in fact, of course, French) trip we were able to make, in October 2005.

My beloved CS — for I shall continue to call him that within this site — was ailing. A trial drug had seemed to put him in remission, and I clung to that: but now I realise he knew before we left that the Tarceva had stopped helping and was, in fact, destroying. I found out later that because we had booked and paid for our fares some months previously he didn't want to suggest we not make the trip: this was a decision that, whilst he didn't discuss it with me at the time, was his to make. I shall never know what he was thinking about the pros and cons of undertaking the journey, but I hope very much he wanted to experience our dear France one last time and was thus prepared to take the risk of travelling. If I had a single atom of religious belief, I would pray that he did not do it for me — but I fear that very much.

And apart from adding that we came home a week early (being deeply concerned about him by then, I grossly exaggerated the back pain I was suffering; he acquiesced instantly with my suggestion that we go home, so I knew I was right to do this), there is nothing more to be said on the circumstances under which this, our final French odyssey, was undertaken. Some things that arose as a a result of them will just... not be mentioned

CS spent the following month at home designing the beautiful background of this site, creating it with coding very different from anything I'm able to use; for his chosen method of working with Dreamweaver 8 was to use tables, whilst I'm totally unable to do anything within a tables setting. Layers are what I use, and I'm obliged to do so even though it means there are things I can't complete in the way I know he would have done. The page files he made are here, but because I have nothing like his knowledge of Dreamweaver 8, CSS or JavaScript, I can't actually use them other than to pull into my own coding the background images he made; however, I do know that he intended to put whatever navigation method he was going to design on the left — and that's all I know. It's taken me a very long time to realise that I'm never going to be able to finish what he started in the way he would have done, and that's something I find very hard to accept...

But it's only one more thing I must add to the impossibles; for his main purpose had been to completely re-create the existing four travel sites in concatenating them with the last journey — all five trips within this background. There's not only no way I could perform that huge task, but there's no longer the motivation for it: with CS gone from me, I can't pretend for one second that my interest in undertaking such a project would not flag, and fail... Far better, now that I've finally go to a point with Dreamweaver 8 where I can, that I do what I've wanted to for so long, and utilise what he began in creating the final trip site.

For I can't bear to allow to remain unused or overlooked anything he made.